By Emily Kean
“You can’t be that kid standing at the top of the waterslide, overthinking it.”
-Tina Fey, “Lessons from Late Night,” The New Yorker, March 14, 2011
There are many things that I have gained from my experience this year. Care Force has pushed me to be more flexible, more decisive, and has forced me to always anticipate the next step. This has not always been the case. During college, I always gave myself plenty of time to prepare whether it was for an exam or a paper. I liked my to-do lists and post-it notes. I depended on my color coordinated planner to live my day to day life. I was determined to always be prepared for my responsibilities and that made me rather successful in college. This sense of control also made me feel safe is an otherwise hectic, uncontrollable world. In my interview for the Care Force senior corps member position last spring, I was asked how I would perform on Care Force because it was constantly so fluid and ever-changing. I remember searching for a positive response in my mind without admitting, “Well that is just not going to work for me.” I am pretty sure I responded with something about how I am continuing to work on my flexibility and that I would try to build in the structure I thrived on so much. Needless to say, I was honest about my weakness, discussed how I was working on it, and then tried to stress a positive attribute like my approachable personality. I knew deep inside that I needed to challenge myself to roll with the punches and be creative in problem solving under pressure when last minute changes occurred. I knew that in this type of work and in life this was a skill I need to acquire to be a successful and powerful leader but I also knew this would be hard for me.
After joining Care Force, I quickly realized that the realities of our lives did not quite fit into a planner as neatly as a college syllabus. In this job you were expected to be ready for anything at any time. We would be notified of our travel schedule only a month in advance and even then plans could change. Last minute adjustments would always be made at the service site during the preparation week and even during the event day. I am certain the Care Force staff immediately came to the realization that I loved the details, asked a lot of questions and would be that annoying pain in their side.
Despite my efforts to continue to plan every detail of my project ahead of time I encountered an unexpected situation on a trip in St. Louis. On this event, I was leading the mosaic tiling project. The service partner wanted to mosaic tile strip along a 20 foot-long “Giving Table” which could be a place where community members could host events together. During the service event, I instructed a group of volunteers to mix the cement without stating that they should mix a little at a time. The cement started drying up quicker than we were able to work and we quickly ran out. I froze. Inside, I slowly began to lose my bubbly personality. I realized that I either needed to keep a positive attitude and come up with another task or let the project crash and burn. Needless to say, the first option was truly my only option. I had to change the original plan I had for leading my volunteers. My team ended up cleaning our work area and eating lunch earlier so that by the time we got more cement we would still have time to finish the time the project. By the end of the day, we had finished the table and it looked amazing. I was reminded that even though I was prepared and had a plan in place I needed to still be able to calmly handle changes to the project creatively. This experience was the first of many in which I started handling changes with flexibility and confidence.
As the year progressed, I became more aware of how my leadership style and skills were developing during each debrief. Rolling with the punches didn’t seem as stressful as before and I started being able to make my own decisions without seeking approval from others. In March, Wil Holbrook, Deputy Director of Care Force, gave us an article to read entitled, “Lessons from Late Night,” written by Tina Fey. We were told that we would be discussing this article about Saturday Night Live and comparing it to how Care Force operates. In the article, Tina Fey writes about the 9 Things she learned from Lorne Michaels, the producer of Saturday Night Live. As I read her third lesson I felt as if she was speaking directly to me about my experience on Care Force.
“You can’t be that kid standing at the top of the waterslide, overthinking it.”
I think often times I have been too scared to jump down that “waterslide.” Both professionally and personally, I have struggled to make independent decisions and not overthink my choices. Because of my obsessive planning tendencies I have often gotten bogged down in not feeling ready to take on a challenge or be flexible enough when things need to be changed. I have had to remind myself that I have gotten to the top of the waterslide for a reason regardless of the changes or challenges that might arise down the way. This year has demonstrated to me that it is so important to prepare but being able to adapt your plan to changes that occur is just as important in executing anything. Care Force has taught me that sometimes I just have to jump and believe that I have the tools and resources to deal with outcome once I land at the bottom.
Recently, I had the opportunity to run an event with my fellow teammate, Phillip St. Clair. We were expected to organize and develop an alternative spring break for Hillel college students in Los Angeles. The process of going through what a project manager does was stressful. I remember thinking, “Can we really do this by ourselves?” During the event week, we had to manage the relationships between all of our partners and put on a successful event. I felt the pressure to make sure we met everyone’s expectations and produce powerful service. Phill and I were also the people who had to think creatively about solutions to problems that arose during the week and make changes last minute. I remember on the last day we checked in with the CYLA Program manager who complimented us on our strong leadership skills and said that our event demonstrated all of the hard work we did preparing in the weeks prior. It was at this moment I realized that regardless of how scared I might have felt at the top of the “waterslide” that I had become a stronger leader by being able to be flexible and was able to land on my own two feet.
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